How To Make Holidays More Meaningful
The Holidays Creates Unnecessary Waste And Sometimes Stress
I always feel rushed during the end of the year. It feels like it comes all too quickly and I put a lot of pressure on myself to work harder in order to make my income more substantial. I’m always tired around this time and almost always feel like I’m not in the mood to celebrate “the holidays”. This is not to say I am anti-”the holidays” BUT I do feel that most of the time, energy and money the average American spends on any holiday is an illustration of our capitalist nature. With that being said I don’t knock anyone for doing holiday stuff unless it is stressing you out, making you anxious and/or depressed.
My family does not really celebrate Christmas. There is no tree and only children (3 of them) get gifts. Yes, Christmas is a day that many of us have time off. My mom sometimes goes to church but as an American immigrant family, its mostly about the time off from work. Personally, as a solo-prenuer it is ALL about the time off. Additionally my extended family is huge with most of them living in Asia. Having a few cousins here in the city is a blessing and I love being able to see them during this time.
What I do love about the holidays is how lively the city becomes with its holiday markets, more lights and decorations. I don’t necessarily go into these holiday markets but you know…it is nice that they exist. When I really break it down though -lights and decorations trick us into feeling happy and lively because the reality is the world is sh*t. Maybe you don’t agree but everyday I am trying to not contribute to the effed up ways of this country as well as trying not to eff up the actual planet. I think about the detention centers, racist people who want to keep children away from their families and I tear up any time anyone mentions children in cages. This alone I find stressful and on other days depressing. It is always tricky how much you allow yourself to be in blissful ignorance to get through any given day or suffer the anxiety of real life. With that said I guess many of us need the sparkly distractions and I can’t be mad at that because I too experience anxiety and depression and I see before me the different ways it can manifest for others.
In the past I have felt caught up by the over-Christmas’d surroundings and have felt anxious, pressured to participate. Feeding into the bads of the world like over-shopping, wrapping paper, unnecessary gifts and the frenzy makes me feel like not being a participant in it all is a great self care move. I enjoy the setting of Christmas all around me but I will not take part.
The amount of waste America creates at the end of the year is phenomenal. According to Hallmark in 2014 Americans spent 3.2 billion dollars a year on wrapping paper. Just two years later Sundale Research reported the spend on wrapping paper to be 7 billion! I mean this is just the wrapping paper. Paper that we wrap around items that gets torn and trashed all because we need to feel like we’ve opened something. Most wrapping paper is actually coated in plastic and not even recyclable. Additionally only about 9% of the things we try to recycle, actually get recycled. I remember as a child how we were taught to open gifts with such care as to not rip the paper so that we could re-use it. My mother kept a drawer of bows and ribbons, folded up wrapping paper in order for it all to be used again. According to the Stanford University blog post on reducing holiday waste, Americans generate 25% more waste from Thanksgiving to New Years. This creates approximately 25 million tons of garbage. Good job, America. I don’t want to post images of dead sperm whales full of trash or beaches full of plastic —you get it!
Here is a list of ways to make the holiday season more meaningful
Re-gift, re-purpose, thrift! Don’t purchase more stuff! Recycled newspaper or paper shopping bags as gift wrap!
Some gifts are not objects - gift certificates to a massage, spa day, acupuncture, itunes, tickets, etc.
Try NO GIFTS. I remember when I was a teenager how my parents cut us off from gifts on holidays. We needed that!
Share some quality time with loved ones. Cook a meal together, go out to eat, coffee, tea, movie, a walk. As a New Yorker I often have friends who have moved away but return home for the holidays. It’s nice to be able to get to see them over brunch or coffee.
Volunteer with friends/family. Try New York Cares or on Thanksgiving and Christmas Day you’ll find me at Goddard Riverside
Plan to spend some time alone, breathe, meditate, sleep more, journal, reflect.
Carve out time to facetime or get on a call with friends/family who live further away. I try do a Christmas Eve or Day check in call with a cousin and a New Year’s Day three-way call with two friends.
Do more therapy as prevention during this time of year. Is your therapist away? Try TalkSpace app.
Don’t be afraid to say no to holiday parties or anything that feels like an obligation. I put a reminder in my calendar to block several days out so that I know ahead of time that I will be taking a break. I always find myself regretting going most holiday parties over the rest that I need, so it is a reminder to myself to opt-out.
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Don’t feel guilty if you’ve bought gifts especially if this makes you happy! Everyone’s holiday culture is different! Just allow yourself some time to think about how to make your holiday rituals more intentional, meaningful, rich and sustainable.
By Emily Grace Siy, L.Ac.
Photo by Greg Rowe